On the Bookshelf: Self Beyond Help

by Theron Dash

1. Chicken Shit For the Soul
A compendium of real easy and very minor changes in attitude and behavior-or maybe just in home decoration-that won't cause you any pain or effort, or actually change much. You'll feel better, but not for long. Then you'll need to buy another one of these books, such as...

2. Simplistic Abundance
Color-coordinated volumes of homilies. Collect them all! (Note: if you can find that rare Vol. 12 in fuscia, it's worth clobbering somebody at the yard sale to get it!)

3. I'm OK, You're Poor by Jack Welsh.
The ex-CEO of GE explains why people who don't have golden parachutes as big as the Ritz and acronyms associated with their names are pathetic losers.

4. Winning Through Interrogation
Report on the Bush administration approach to intelligence gathering, which is to save needless effort and cut costs by relying on putting people in prison and getting them fired so the FBI and CIA can spend time questioning people instead of wasting their time gathering and evaluating data, which they've shown they are not too good at anyway. Why go out looking for information when you can force the information to come to you? Includes evaluation of torture services offered by third party countries.

5. Be Here Whenever
The Whatever Generation's guide to enlightenment, or not.

6. Get With the Pogrom
An unbiased guide to persecuting your favorite designated enemy group, foreign or domestic. Includes the latest Internet techniques, though the revival of old-fashioned war on the Devil is given its due, too.