Massage from the President of Freedonia

Freedonia congratulates America on winning the war in Iraq. You're on a roll, all right. An Iraq and roll. I'll have mine with relish and mustard, but no French bread! Freedonia wanted to be part of the coalition of the willing, but where there's a will there's a way, and there was no way we were going to get involved in something like that! But we'd like to do something for your next war effort, like not be the target of it. We'd lend you a musket but we need that for parades. We have a lot of veterans parades, and a lot of veterans of a lot of parades. Unfortunately we can't afford wars but our veterans don't seem to mind. Oh, they complain now and then, how the young veterans don't know what it's like to have it rain on their parades, but they'd really get upset if we gave away their musket. So the best we can do is contribute one of our national songs, adapted for the occasion by one of our national songwriters. It's not really finished but our national songwriters are. We can't afford to support the arts anymore, now that we've poured all our resources into convincing you to go to war on somebody else. And boy can we pour it on. Now we're all poor. Go reign on somebody else's parade!

Sincerely yours
President Rufus T. Firefly

[To the tune of "Lydia, the Tatooed Lady")

Syria oh Syria
let's go get Syria
Syria, we'll tatoo shady

she's another wayward nation
ready for decapitation

Syria oh Syria
the latest hysteria
on Syria the axis will fall

we've got to round up this whole terrorist crew
maybe we'll get to the Bosphorus too
and claim all the oil for the red white and blue
you can get a lot from Syria!