United Nations Once Again Hot Dog! I mean, Boudin Blanc!

Crisis was averted today as the U.S. announced it has secured support from France for a UN resolution to become a limited partner in the Bush Administration Iraq venture. President George Bush made the announcement after lunch at the White House with the French Ambassador.

“We are happy to be partners in the fight against terrorism with our oldest ally,” President Bush said.

The French Ambassador presented him with a ceremonial check, which was signed, with that dry Gallic humor for which the French are so famous, “the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys.”

Standing beside a giant Perrier bottle, the President munched on what he described as “the best French Fries I’ve ever tasted. They sure make good French fries over there,” he quipped. “We’ll be sending a whole lot of them to our boys in Iraq, along with a selection of fine French cheese.”

He also touted another menu item, which he called a “French hot dog.” Reporters learned later that he was speaking of boudin blancs, a French white sausage. The President was so enthusiastic about them, his press spokesman said, that he’s requested that major league baseball teams begin offering them at all ball parks, beginning with this year’s World Series.

The President also announced changes to the federal school breakfast school program standard menu, which will now include French toast and croissants. In addition, all standardized tests administered to U.S. school children above grade three will require that the student be able to spell “croissant” or the student will not advance.

The President was joined by vice president Cheney, the Secretary of Defense, the Attorney General and the Secretary of State in a toast to the new international agreement. “With Champagne,” The Attorney General noted. “The Real Thing. From France. If it’s not from France, you can’t call it Champagne. That’s the law,” he warned, speculating that non-compliance could very well fall under the provisions of the Patriot Act.

The President and vice-president then had an informal contest to see who could eat a plateful of French cheeses the fastest, while a good natured debate ensued between Secretary Powell and Secretary Rumsfeld over the relative merits of Pinot Noir and Merlot.

They then prepared for an official state dinner at the White House, where twenty French chefs would be preparing a special delicacy for the Bush team, filet de crow.